Mistitled Books and the Pitches We Imagined for Them

Posted by Margaret Dunham

[Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash]

Beloved books are popular for a reason, but what if those stories had gone just a little bit… differently? Just a few letters can make a world of difference to a story. We’ve taken a whack at pitching a few classic titles that have taken a bit of a turn for the silly, strange, and ridiculous!

Feel inspired? Share your own pitches for famous novels with a twist @QuirkBooks on twitter with #Pitchatwist!

 

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Scone:

In this novel for young adults, a young orphan boy is accepted to a school for magical baking. He and his new-found friends get into plenty of trouble in their quest to master the classic scone by tea time… before it’s too late.

 

Tide and Prejudice:

Lizzie Bennet, not the prettiest of daughters in her family but certainly the wittiest, has been jilted by a wealthy man for the last time. Leaving behind her world of ballrooms and petticoats, Jane takes to the high seas – leaving bewildered townspeople and horrified ladies and gentlemen (quite literally) in her wake.

 

Swatchmen:

This dark graphic novel turns the super-upholsterer genre on its head, with an up-close look at the humanity of the people who restore our furniture. The story focuses on a group of fabric merchants set out to right great wrongs in the gritty underground upholstery market.

 

Andy of Green Gables:

Marilla Cuthbert got the boy she ordered from the orphanage to help out around the farm. He is a good worker and apprentice to her brother Matthew. He befriends local good-hearted troublemaker Gilbert Blythe, and eventually marries the sweet and kindly Diana Barry. Nothing dreamy-eyed or florid happens.

 

A Game of Tones:

In the game of tones, you sing or you die. The rulers of this fantasy world are at odds, their conflicts have reached a fevered pitch. In a realm where the magic of music holds the key to power, a new generation must learn to harmonize or or beat-box one another… to the death.

 

The Plunger Games:

In a not-so-distant future, the heroine of our story is selected to display her skills in competitive plumbing on national television. A fellow player throws a wrench into her plans to flush the competition, and the leaders of the contest aren’t on the level. Will she float to the top, or will the contest drain her? Only time will tell…

 

Blender’s Game:

Young people attend a unique training school with one goal: prepare the best breakfast in the galaxy. Through a series of challenges, virtual reality fruit chopping games, and competitive training, our hero creates an innovative breakfast he calls a smoothie. The fate of our world, and our digestive health, hangs in the balance.

 

Jane Dare:

A young woman is orphaned and forced to live with a family that hates her, later attends a school that berates her, and eventually works for a man who alienates her. Seeing how the conventions of her life have kept her trapped for far too long, Jane decides to strike out on her own, travels the world, and dedicates her future to helping women like her get out of bad situations.

 

There’s sure to be more where those came from, tweet us your ideas for book pitches with a wacky twist!