If Doctor Strange Was A Character in Classic Novels

Posted by Rick Chillot

By the hoary hosts of Hoggoth! At long last Stephen Strange, Sorcerer Supreme, is poised to appear in his own feature film. Not even omnipotent Oshtur can say why it’s taken so long for the Master of the Mystic Arts to reach this milestone, because the truth is, Dr. Strange makes any story better. In fact, even the greatest novels ever written would be 1000% better, if only Doctor Strange were to materialize within their chapters. And now, by the power of the eternal Vishanti, let it be so!



Quote: Call me Agamotto!

The Plot: Stephen Strange signs on as ship's magician aboard the whaling ship Pequod. But Baron Mordo, disguised as Queequeg, secretly sabotages Strange's efforts to find the white whale. So Dr. Strange calls on his close friend the Sub-Mariner for help. In the end an angry Subby smashes the ship to bits, while Dr. Strange rescues Moby Dick, who turns out to be a transformed Clea.



Quote: Wherever there's a fight so hungry people can eat, I'll be there. In my astral form.

The Plot: The traveling Joad family pick up an amnesiac hitchhiker, who uses the Crimson Bands of Cyttorak to defend them from a hoard of anti-migrant goons. His memory restored, Dr. Strange teleports the family members to various locations along route 66 to help him locate the fabled "Grapes of Wrath," which are actually scattered pieces of the Wand of Watoomb. With the Wand reassembled, Strange battles and defeats the Dust Bowl, a sentient windstorm created by Nightmare. When the dust settles, the now super-powered Joad family form a superhero team called the Dust Bowl Defenders.


The Books: THE LORD OF THE RINGS Trilogy

Quote: By the power of the Vishanti, by the flames of the Faltine, you cannot pass, says the Sorcerer Supreme! 

The Plot: On a hunch that he might find one of the Roving Rings of Raggadorr, Dr. Strange travels to Middle Earth, where he finds the incompetent Gandalf stumbling around in the mines of Moira with a bunch of dwarves and hobbits. Strange quickly banishes the Balrog to the Purple Dimension and uses his cloak of levitation to fly the One Ring to Mordor. There he uses the All Seeing Eye of Agamotto to beat Sauron in a staring contenst, then defeats Sauron's master Dormammu by tricking him into saying his name backwards. 



Quote: In my younger and more vulnerable years The Ancient One gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since. "Whenever you feel like criticizing the Mindless Ones," he told me, "just remember that all the denizens of the Dark Dimension haven't had the advantages that you've had."

The Plot: Jay Gatsby's parties are so popular that even Eternity, omnipotent representation of all reality, wants to attend. Dr. Strange is charged by the Living Tribunal to go along and keep Eternity out of trouble. When Eternity starts hitting on Daisy Buchanan, Gatsby gets jealous, so Strange conjures a hypnotic green light to distract him. A drunken Eternity takes Daisy for a drive, runs over her husband's mistress, and is arrested for vehicular homicide. Daredevil defends him at the trial.



Quote: You never really understand a person until you probe his mind with the Eye of Agamotto.

The Plot: It's just Dr. Strange vs. a haunted chifforobe.


Rick Chillot

Rick Chillot

RICK CHILLOT is a former baby and current writer and editor at Quirk Books. He has contributed to magazines such as Psychology Today, Parenting, Mental Floss, and Prevention. In his twenty-plus years in publishing he’s interviewed about a jillion scientists and doctors and therefore had no need to consult any of them for this book.