Fictional Characters Who Will Break Your New Year’s Resolutions
We all have those friends, the ones who encourage us to make poor decisions. You know, the ones who tell you to buy that expensive shirt you can’t afford or to go ahead and have one more slice of cake. Or hey—eat the whole dang thing! Who cares about your resolution to eat better?
We’ve compiled a list of the fictional characters you want to avoid if you want to keep your New Year’s resolutions.
Giacomo Casanova from Story of My Life by Giacomo Casanova
If you want to swear off dating, avoid Casanova. He’ll either seduce you (only adding “avoid players” to your resolution list next year) or he’ll encourage you to play the field with him. Or both. Either way, you want to dodge him if you want to spend your time at home watching your favorite shows on Netflix instead of getting your heart broken.
Becky Sharp from Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray
Want to quit gambling? Ease up on the partying? Trying to skip out on the social climbing you have done in the past few years? Then you don’t want to go within two feet of Becky Sharp. If you’re around her for even a few hours, you will find yourself drunk, in massive gambling debts, and scheming to increase your social status. Either that or she’ll be flirting with you to get herself to your level.
Tom Sawyer from The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
Okay, we’ll guess. You finally want to call a cease-fire with your coworkers in your great office prank war. If you chill with Tom Sawyer, he’ll only give you ideas on how to continue the battle. We’re willing to bet he would have great ideas on how to get back at your officemate for leaving a fake frog in your desk (an amateur move) or your coworker that keeps taking credit for your work. If you want to stay on the straight and narrow (and keep your job), stay away from Tom. And Jim Halpert.
Ignatius J. Reilly from A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
If you wanted to sign up for Weight Watchers this year, then you should stay out of Ignatius J. Reilly’s line of sight. He certainly knows how to eat, and all his decadent dishes might inspire you to indulge in some of them. He is also not a great friend if you want to get motivated to accomplish your long-term goals. The king of sloth will tell you to rest instead of work—and then he’ll insult you, a lot.
In fact, you should steer clear of Ignatius ALL the time, not just when you’re focused on your New Year’s resolutions.
Rebecca Bloomwood from Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella
Are you reeling from all the Christmas shopping you did? Have you sworn to keep better track of your budget in 2017? Rebecca Bloomwood is NOT your girl. She will tell you that you absolutely must have that scarf or the latest novel on your TBR list. Sure, you’ll have a better closet and bookshelf if you’re pals with her, but your bank account will suffer. Take heed!
Sarah Fox is an editor, writer, writing consultant, and pop culture enthusiast. Besides regularly contributing to Quirk Books’ blog, she has published an edition of William Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure. She lives in Washington D.C. with her husband and Pembroke Welsh Corgi. You can find her online at www.thebookishfox.com.