New Year’s Resolutions of Tolkien Characters

Posted by Sandra Woolf

[Movie still from Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, New Line Cinema]

Happy New Year! Now’s the time for new beginnings and setting future resolutions. For the inhabitants of Middle Earth those resolutions might look a “tiny” bit different than most.


[The Adventures of Tom Bombadil by J.R.R. Tolkien, HarperCollins]

Tom Bombadil

Ah, old man Tom Bombadil lives quietly in his forest, singing songs and being one with nature. His New Year’s resolution is to avoid all outside dwellers (and certain wizards). He cares not for their petty wars over rings. This year he hopes to drink more ale and learn more tunes.


[Movie still from Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, New Line Cinema]


Even giant man-eating monsters have New Year’s resolutions! Shelob the Great has but one goal this coming year: avoid all hobbits. That’s it! She will still eat orcs and men, but she’s never messing with those pesky hobbits ever again! The Dark Lord can have them.


[Movie still from The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, New Line Cinema]


For a man who can transform into a bear, Beorn has a simple list of resolutions. One, eat more honey. Two, rid his valley of smelly orcs. And last but not least is…get in shape. What? This is the year to finally meet a lady skin-changer. Beorn will be hitting the Middle Earth gym hard in 2018!


[Movie still from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, New Line Cinema]


Certain characters have higher ambitions than others when it comes to the New Year. Eowyn, for example, wishes only to protect her land and family from evil. She trains hard as a shieldmaiden to accomplish her goals (and catch the eye of a certain king). We hope all her demon slaying dreams come true this year.


[Movie still from The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, New Line Cinema]


Evil goes by many names in Middle Earth, but the one most recognized is the Dark Lord Sauron. Sure, he was defeated by two-pint size hobbits, but Sauron’s goal for the coming year is revenge and destruction! He would also like to meet new people. What? The Dark Lord gets lonely sometimes.

Sandra Woolf

Sandra Woolf

Sandra Woolf lives in the PNW where she haunts bookshops and library sales. Freelancer by day, horror movie lover by night. Writing inquires can go to what lovely books at gmail or just to ask her how her hairy is so bouncy.