What Would Author Acceptance Speeches Look Like?
The 70th annual Emmy Awards are on Monday and while we’ve been re-watching our favorite shows in anticipation, nothing beats the love we have for our favorite novelists. And while the Emmy’s haven’t created an award for Best Original Source Material – and come on, why not? – that hasn’t stopped us from imagining what that nomination pool would look like. And because we can’t bear to imagine any of our favorites losing, we’re dreaming up acceptance speeches for each of them.
George R. R. Martin for Game of Thrones
Winter! Is! Coming! Oh wow, I was not expecting to win this tonight. I can’t believe this is real. First of all, I want to thank Kirby McCauley and Ralph Vicinanza for believing in me all those years ago. You’re no longer here to celebrate with me, but this one’s for you. Who else? Thank you to everyone at HBO for giving us seven seasons and another one on the way. You made my dream a dragon-filled reality and I’ll never stop thanking you for it. And finally, a big thank you to my fans – especially the ones who don’t hound me asking when the next book is coming out. Soon, I promise. Huzzah! (Lifts his Emmy over his head.)
Margaret Atwood for The Handmaid’s Tale
Wow. Just wow. First of all, I want to thank Hulu for taking a chance on this novel thirty years after its publication date. You’ve managed to make my book feel up to the minute without changing a single detail. Thank you. Thank you, Elisabeth Moss for portraying Offred so magnificently. You’ve exceeded my expectations a hundred times over. Thank you, Samira Wiley and O-T Fagbenle for portraying Moira and Luke. You give those Canadian scenes so much life and it feels like a tribute to my home whenever I see you on screen. Finally, I want to thank my fans – and remind them that everything in The Handmaid’s Tale has happened somewhere else in the world. Under his eye.
Stephanie Danler for Sweetbitter
This award – Oh god I can’t believe this is happening. I tried to be prepared, but now I can’t remember anything I rehearsed. Okay, okay. This award goes out to Melissa Flashman, my agent over at Janklow and Nesbit Associates. You were the first one to understand what I was trying to say with Tess – and now we have a series on Starz! Thank you to my MFA cohort at The New School. I came to you with only a fragment of a novel and a dream. You helped me develop my voice and I cannot stop thanking you for that. Thank you to all the fans – both of the show and the novel. This one’s for you. And you will develop a palate.
Gillian Flynn for Sharp Objects
This award is for all the critics who didn’t get Gone Girl – the people who thought I was trying to write a sympathetic female protagonist when I was actually writing a complex female character who is vindictive and taking control of her life. There’s not one way to write a woman and I’m so glad we’ve made more room for women’s stories on television. This is for every woman who has apologized one too many times, just to make the men around her feel more comfortable. This is for all the “cool girls” – you know who you are. Thank you, Amy Adams for giving voice to Camille in such an incredible way. I can’t think of a better person for the job. Thank you, HBO and Marti Noxon for making sure this story made its way to the small screen. You’re my favorite Wind Gap residents.