Terrify Your Friends With This Halloween Party How-To!
Spooky Season is finally here! But with it comes the question, how do you throw the finest, most fabulous, most frightening Halloween party of the year? Anyone can throw on “Monster Mash” and put some pumpkin ale on ice. But what if you want to go to the extra mile? Here’s how to make a party that will be burned into your friends' minds for all eternity!
Have some costume elements available for guests at the door. Let them pick from a closet fully stocked with masks, hats, and party props, so that even those who didn’t come fully costumed can still have fun with everyone else. If anyone inquires about what they will have to give you in exchange for a mask, simply laugh “Your soul,” and attend to the guests.
A Scintillating Swarm
What could be more Halloween than a flock of bats descending though a hole in the ceiling and scaling the walls? Sure, you could use paper cut-outs of bats and stick them up with scotch tape, but nothing beats the real thing. Bending the creatures of the night to your will take some time, but the results are worth it! Plus, if there are children at the party, they could take one home as a pet!
What’s Your Poison?
It’s not a party without food and drinks! Set out your food buffet style, on multiple tables throughout the party to encourage your guests to move about. Decorate the tables with bottles marked “Poison,” and “XXX.” For a fun party game, place small amounts of actual poison in the food, and see who ate too much when they expire on the dance floor!
Dearly Departed Musicians
What’s a masquerade ball without an orchestral set? Hide the speakers of your music player of choice and set up a skeleton band holding instruments. This can be as simple as single cadaver at a piano, or a whole big band set, depending on the number of skeletons you can acquire. As with anything else, a fresh skeleton is best. Killing and striping your victims of flesh the day of the party is ideal, but if you must do it earlier, be sure to remove any remaining gore and sinew before posing.
The Summoning Circle
One of the most cost-effective decorations you can do, a summoning circle looks just as good done in chalk as it does in paint or blood. Speak the dreaded incantation near the end of the night to treat your guests to fabulous light show, and thrill in their excitement as Abaddon the Devourer climbs forth from the pit to consume all!
The Screams of the Damned
Even the best parties must end. And what better way than one of the nine princes of damnation dragging your guests kicking and screaming to their eternal torment? No need for a designated driver on the road to Hell! And as the last of your guests’ bodies are burned alive, you take comfort that they will never forget this night, as their soul is tortured until the end of time. What more could a host ask for?
Naturally, only the most uncouth of hosts or hostess would go to all this trouble without giving your guests a fighting chance. Be sure to provide several copies of How to Survive a Horror Movie, as a show of good faith. If they don't read it in time, well, that's on them, isn't it?
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Jadzia Axelrod is an author, an illustrator, and a world changer. Throughout her eventful life she has also been a circus performer, a puppeteer, a graphic designer, a sculptor, a costume designer, a podcaster and quite a few other things that she’s lost track of but will no doubt remember when the situation calls for it.She is the writer and producer of “The Voice Of Free Planet X” podcast, were she interviews stranded time-travelers, low-rent superheroes, unrepentant monsters and other such creature of sci-fi and fantasy, as well as the podcasts “Aliens You Will Meet” and “Fables Of The Flying City.” The story started in “Fables Of The Flying City” is concluded in The Battle Of Blood & Ink, a graphic novel published by Tor.She is not domestic, she is a luxury, and in that sense, necessary.