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Why You Should Listen to Classical Music

Photo by Steve Snodgrass

Did you know that September is Classical Music Month? Me either! And while I’m sure there are plenty of reasons to listen to classical music (Mozart effect, anyone?) our favorite broet, Brian McGackin, has the one and only reason you should bother.

John Williams.

So in honor of Classical Music Month, we’ve got Brian’s poem, Why You Should Listen to Classical Music, excerpted below. Enjoy!

Posted by Eric Smith

National Broetry Month: For Mama Celeste

It’s time for our third and final featured poem from Broetry in honor of National Broetry (Poetry) Month.

So far, we’ve covered creation and intellectual sustenance. Now, it’s time for more practical concerns. Being a poet and college graduate in the 21st century, Brian McGackin has, understandably, written several poems about his abject poverty.

This week’s poem includes financial stress, hunger, and a coming-of-age story. All in a poem short enough to memorize and impress your friends… over pizza.

Posted by Courtney Daniels

National Broetry Month: Now I Assume That Everyone Named Harry Is a Wizard

It’s time for another poem from Brian McGackin’s Broetry!

Last week, we tackled the beginnings of the universe. This week, it made sense to feature something almost as important: Harry Potter.

This poem tackles the male desire for sex, the female desire to share emotional intimacy, the universal human need for companionship, and the prospect of dressing up as witches and wizards to attend midnight book release parties. Also, I can personally attest to the fact that this poem is true to life: I did the exact same thing to my boyfriend.

Posted by Courtney Daniels

National Broetry Month: The Guttenberg Bible

April is National Poetry Month, and some of you are probably already celebrating by quoting Emily Dickenson or John Keats. No? Just me then.

For everyone who thinks poetry has to be about high-minded intellectual pursuits or daffodils in spring, we are going to feature a more relaxed form of prose. For the next three weeks, we’re going to share a poem from Broetry by Brian McGackin, who tackles important, real-world topics like beer, frozen pizza, and Bruce Willis.

It was difficult to select just a few poems to share, but it seemed logical to start with one that featured the formation of the universe. This poem contains all those very important poetry themes: the indifference of God, the history of the printed word, and the Police Academy sequels. Enjoy, and happy National Broetry Month.

Posted by Courtney Daniels

Hello, My Name Is: A Broem from Stacey Graham

Edgar Allan Bro by Joseph Toschlog

Back in July we announced a Broetry contest, asking broets and broettes in training to submit their own broems to our esteemed Broet Laurette, Brian McGackin.

Stacey Graham (soon to be a Quirk author with her upcoming Zombie Tarot) sent in a piece entitled Hello, My Name Is. “Dedicated to all the boys [she] dated with their hats turned backwards and unfortunate tribal arm tattoos,” this was Brian’s favorite of the bunch. So here it is.

Hello, My Name Is:

To the girl I puked upon
Your shoes were really nice

Your hair it smelled like lavender
Though you had to wash it twice

I think you are the one for me, a candle to my flame
But the morning rears its head and I can’t recall your name

Well done Stacey.

Posted by Eric Smith

Halloween Puts Broetry in Motion @ the Nightmares Fear Factory

We all know that bros can be downright poetic, but are these seemingly unflappable dudes afraid of anything? As it turns out, they are, especially during trick or treat time.

Thus in what surely will go down as the finest meme of the 2011 Halloween season, the Niagara Falls haunted house Nightmares Fear Factory has been posting pictures of dudebros who have been scared silly by the attraction. For today’s moment of Zen, check out this photo gallery.

These hilarious fear pics prove that behind their carefully crafted masculine exteriors, bros get terrified by zombies and ghosts too.

See? They’re just like us!

Posted by Chris Cummins