Seven Intoxicating Drinking Games for Your Favorite Books

Posted by Cassie Rose
Movies have drinking games, so why can't books? As any bibulous bibliophile will tell you, anything can be a drinking game if you want it to be (although we don't recommend turning every activity into one, because that's called bad decision making.)
We've compiled some fun, fast and loose ideas for literary drinking games below. These games—while intoxicatingly fun to read about—are mostly for satire purposes, and should not necessarily be seen to fruition. If you really feel the need to get drunk, get drunk on beautiful prose! And maybe a little alcohol. But only if you're of age.

Catcher in the Rye

Take a shot whenever Holden Caufield calls a person, place or a thing “a phony.”
Take a second shot if he says the phrase “sonuvabitch” within the same page.
Take a sip whenever you have an urge to go after Ronald Reagan. Finish your drink if you are now a serial-killer.
Drink everything in your house whenever a catcher plays baseball in a rye field.
Lightning round: Take a shot whenever Holden Caufield is sad or disillusioned with the world around him. You're welcome to do the same with your own life.

The Hunger Games

Take a shot whenever Haymitch is drunk (because he really shouldn't drink alone!)
Take a double shot whenever the word “Mockingjay” is used.
Make it a triple whenever Katniss uses her bow and arrow.
Take a sip whenever a tribute is killed. Finish your drink if it's a character you actually knew something about.
Pour one out in memory of Rue.
Lightning round: Take a shot whenever a character with a questionable name turns out to mean something else. Then treat yourself to a Pita Pocket to soak up the booze.

Harry Potter

Take a shot whenever Harry Potter's scar burns.
Make it a shot of Fireball if Fire Whiskey is mentioned.
Take a sip if points are handed out. Finish your drink if points are given to Gryffindor and it helps them win the house cup. Thanks a lot, Dumbledore.
Drink for as long as it takes you to read about Professor Snape berating a child.
Drink your tears if Harry Potter's eyes are compared to his mother's.
Lightning round: Read the epilogue and take a shot whenever mist is mentioned. Find out if intoxication makes it any better.

Anything by Jane Austen

Take a shot whenever Jane writes some biting commentary about society [that's like ALL OF EVERY BOOK! -Ed.]
Take a double if anyone gets concerned about their money or virtue.
Take a sip if someone suggests taking a turn around the gardens. Finish your drink if it ends in emotional satisfaction—or turmoil.
Drink something excessively “girly” whenever womanly pursuits are partaken of. For example: someone plays the pianoforte, embroiders something or suggests whist? Down a Cosmo.
Lightning round: Take a shot whenever someone talks about marriage, thinks about marriage or actually gets married. Promptly make yourself too dead to ever wed.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Take a shot whenever Marvin the Paranoid Android is depressed.
Double it if towels are mentioned. You should obviously be holding a towel while you do this.
Take a sip whenever made up technology helps our heroes out of a sticky situation. Finish your drink if it ends up being a major plot point.
Take a double sip whenever something makes you smile. Finish it if you actually laugh out loud.
Lightning round: Take a shot whenever someone is referred to by their full name. For example: Arthur Dent or Zaphod Beeblebrox … or Captain Morgan.

A Song of Ice and Fire Series

Take a shot whenever someone is killed off. Take two if it's someone you actually liked and need to drown your sorrows.
Drink for however long it takes George R. R. Martin to describe food. Finish your drink if it makes you hungry. Then make some lemon cakes.
Take a sip whenever you change POVs. Finish your drink if it's a Bran chapter because you're going to need it.
Drink a dirty martini whenever you get to a sex scene. Make it a double if there's no reason for said sex scene.
Lightning round: Take a shot whenever someone quotes their house motto or a reference is made to their house sigil. You can take what is yours with whiskey and beer!

Fight Club

Take a shot whenever the narrator compares himself to one of Jack's organs.
Take a double shot when someone explains in intricate detail how to do something. Make it a triple if that thing is soap.
Drink something imaginary and pretend it's real when the name Tyler is mentioned.
Take a sip whenever the rules of fight club are brought up. Finish your drink when those are broken.
Lightning round: Take a shot whenever there is either a fight or a fight club. Or the mere mention of either. You are now Jack's head in the toilet.

Image credit: Flickr