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Happy New Year! Now’s the time for new beginnings and setting future resolutions. For the inhabitants of Middle Earth those resolutions might look a “tiny” bit different than most.


Tom Bombadil

Ah, old man Tom Bombadil lives quietly in his forest, singing songs and being one with nature. His New Year’s resolution is to avoid all outside dwellers (and certain wizards). He cares not for their petty wars over rings. This year he hopes to drink more ale and learn more tunes.



Even giant man-eating monsters have New Year’s resolutions! Shelob the Great has but one goal this coming year: avoid all hobbits. That’s it! She will still eat orcs and men, but she’s never messing with those pesky hobbits ever again! The Dark Lord can have them.



For a man who can transform into a bear, Beorn has a simple list of resolutions. One, eat more honey. Two, rid his valley of smelly orcs. And last but not least is…get in shape. What? This is the year to finally meet a lady skin-changer. Beorn will be hitting the Middle Earth gym hard in 2018!



Certain characters have higher ambitions than others when it comes to the New Year. Eowyn, for example, wishes only to protect her land and family from evil. She trains hard as a shieldmaiden to accomplish her goals (and catch the eye of a certain king). We hope all her demon slaying dreams come true this year.



Evil goes by many names in Middle Earth, but the one most recognized is the Dark Lord Sauron. Sure, he was defeated by two-pint size hobbits, but Sauron’s goal for the coming year is revenge and destruction! He would also like to meet new people. What? The Dark Lord gets lonely sometimes.

Quirk Tested, Reader Approved.

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Sandra Gisi

Sandra Gisi is a book nerd/writer from Austin, Texas. She is the creator of the YouTube series Reader Vs Reader , and book blog What Lovely Books. When she isn't planning world domination, she likes to hangout with her husband and two dogs.