Fortune Cookies for Fictional Characters
In all honesty, the best part about ordering Chinese food is getting the fortune cookies. When dinner is over, you're sad for that one split second before you realize what's lingering in the bottom of your takeout bag. Bonus food! Delicious little morsels with a hidden message inside! We all know that moment when we read one and it perfectly fits our lives (which usually results in pinning the fortune to the refrigerator). In the interest of generosity, we thought we would write fortunes for our favorite fictional characters.
Captain Ahab from Moby Dick by Herman Melville
Keep your legs INSIDE the boat.
Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Give the snobbish guy at the dance another shot.
Portia from Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare
You will face a trial and emerge victorious.
The White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
Your tardiness will change someone’s life.
Jo from Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
You are about to make a big mistake in your love life.
Dorothea from Middlemarch by George Eliot
He is never going to finish that book.
Gatsby from The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Avoid cars and pools.
Frodo from Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
Stick with your best friend and avoid wearing jewelry for too long.
Briony from Atonement by Ian McEwan
Don’t let yourself get carried away by your imagination.
Katniss from The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
Choose the man bearing bread.
Sarah Fox is an editor, writer, writing consultant, and pop culture enthusiast. Besides regularly contributing to Quirk Books’ blog, she has published an edition of William Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure. She lives in Washington D.C. with her husband and Pembroke Welsh Corgi. You can find her online at www.thebookishfox.com.