Camp Plot-A-Wanna: Lunch Menu

Posted by Quirk Books Staff

CAMP PLOT-A-WANNA is a weekly 8-part series where Quirk Books staffers reimagine famous authors as pre-teens, stuck together at summer camp. Check out the rest of the posts here. It is also an entirely fictional place. Please don't have your parents drop you off at our offices with sleeping bags.

Gruel: Camp Plot-A-Wanna has large quantities of unused gruel due to no one ever asking for seconds at breakfast. Therefore we will be serving the surplus on Mondays for lunch. 

Tea and Madeleines: Guaranteed to be memorable! Note: being lost in memories does not excuse campers from afternoon activities.

Soup Day! Campers have a choice of: 

Clam Chowder: This authentic New England delicacy was recently delivered to the Plot-A-Wanna kitchens via a Nantucket whaling ship. Ingredients include clams, salt-pork, and ship biscuits with most of the weevils removed. Served with an accompanying lecture by Chef Melville on the difference between fast fish and loose fish.

Chicken Soup with Rice: It’s so nice. Sip it once, sip it twice. 

As a preparation for the upcoming Color Wars, Wednesday has been designated Green Day*. Please choose from the following options:

Green Eggs and Ham: Thanks to unauthorized kitchen experiments by camper T. Geisel (Underwood Cabin), we have several servings of miscolored but otherwise edible ham and egg sandwiches available. Dining options include on a boat, with a goat, in a box, with a fox, in a house, or with a mouse (choose one). 

Fried Green Tomatoes: Served with a small portion of secret-ingredient barbecue (limited quantity available; first-come, first-serve basis).

Soylent Green: This new-fangled synthetic food is an excellent choice if no more barbecue is available. 

Also Available: A kale of two cities.

*not affiliated with the band Green Day 

Oryx and Cake: Sample the unique and exotic flavor of a rare African antelope, followed by a delicious layer cake baked with eggs from genetically engineered chickens.

Avocado Stuffed with Crabmeat: Served under glass with a grape jelly garnet sauce.

Note: Due to past incidents of food poisoning, all campers must present signed wavers before eating. Electroshock therapy sessions available as needed.

As per camp policy, campers are responsible for their own meals on weekends. Popular options include a picnic at hanging rock, breakfast at Tiffany’s, naked lunch, water for chocolate, a moveable feast, the restaurant at the end of the universe, and cooking in the night kitchen (open 6 -9 pm).


[Download The Menu Here]

Don’t forget to pick up your camp t-shirts and other gear!

Camp Plot-A-Wanna Budget Tote BagCamp Plot-A-Wanna Budget Tote Bag
Camp Plot-A-Wanna JournalsCamp Plot-A-Wanna Journals
Camp Plot-A-Wanna Ringer Coffee MugCamp Plot-A-Wanna Ringer Coffee Mug  Camp Plot-A-Wanna PostcardCamp Plot-A-Wanna Postcard