Worst-Case Wednesday: How to Smuggle Yourself Out of the Country

Posted by Jennifer Murphy

(Image via flickr)

You’re an extremely important figure, and you’ve just committed a crime that will definitely land you in a jail cell. It’s OK! We’ve all been blinded by power, and your high-falutin status is precisely why you think you should get a “get out of jail free” card.

Unfortunately, not everyone will agree. You’ve got to get out of the country to avoid the punishment you undoubtedly deserve, and quickly. What do you do? Ok, even if you’re a stellar citizen at the moment, everyone should be prepared to leave the country at the drop of a hat. You never know. Maybe you just need to wait until things cool down enough to assume but you’ve got to play it just the right way.

Luckily, The Worst-Case Scenario Almanac: Politics has some useful strategies to help you make a quick exit.

How To Smuggle Yourself Out Of The Country

1. Avoid changes in routine. Resist the urge to make your move too abruptly so you don’t alert authorities that you are about to escape. Maintain your daily routines while using every spare moment to plot your secret departure. Make sure you camouflage your efforts to gather materials for your escape under the guise of activities that you normally engage in.

2. Learn from others’ past mistakes. Review the cases of people that have been arrested for political reasons, focusing on how and where the government made arrests. Avoid similar circumstances.

3. Be wary of unsolicited offers of help. Rebuke anyone who approaches you about wanting to join or help you with your escape. He may be on assignment from the government to ensnare you.

4. Fake them out. Establish an event in the future that you will be sure to attend. If the government thinks you will be present in the country at least until an upcoming wedding, election, important speech, etc., they will probably wait to make an arrest in hopes of building their case against you. Just make sure you get out of the country before the event.