Worst-Case Wednesday: How to Foil a UFO Abduction
Have you ever really entertained the idea that we might not be alone in this universe? Maybe after watching ten straight hours of The X-Files on a Sunday afternoon, or even after picking the nearest tabloid to get your daily dose of world news. You probably panic a little on the inside, but you don’t want to say anything because your peers might think you’re a little bonkers.
Like one of those slightly crazed alien enthusiasts you see on the Discovery Channel—they seem to have it all figured out, and you can easily be drawn in if you’re not careful. You can’t control the future, but you can prepare yourself. One common prediction is that aliens will want to do experiments on human beings.
You certainly don’t want to be singled out as an interesting specimen and be beamed up to a UFO, right? The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Travel can give you some practical tips on how to prevent this from happening.
How to Foil a UFO Abduction:
1. Do not panic. The extraterrestrial biological entity (EBE) may sense your fear and act rashly
2. Control your thoughts. Do not think of anything violent or upsetting—the EBE may have the ability to read your mind. Try to avoid mental images of abduction (boarding the saucer, anal probes); such images may encourage them to take you.
3. Resist verbally. Firmly tell the EBE to leave you alone. Resist mentally. Picture yourself enveloped in a protective shield of white light, or in a safe place. Telepathic EBEs may get the message.
4. Resist physically. Physical Resistance should be used only as a last resort. Go for the EBE’s eyes (if they have any)—you will not know what its other, more sensitive areas are.