Ten Literary Characters Choose the Newest Monopoly Piece

Posted by Jessica S. Marquis

Are you fed up with the current selection of Monopoly tokens? Have you tossed the board and its tiny hotels in frustration at the monotony of game play? Do you find yourself longing for a more fully diversified portfolio of silver movers?

Then your time has come.
Hasbro, maker of Monopoly, has announced it will be permanently removing a game piece in favor of a new token. To decide which piece will receive its last rights, they are taking to the internet for a popular vote.
To refresh the memories of those of us who haven’t really thought about Monopoly before this news broke, the current pieces in the classic version of the game are the wheelbarrow, dog, thimble, top hat, boot, racecar, battleship, and flatiron. Interestingly, several tokens have been dismissed much more quietly over time, including this blogger’s favorite, the horse and rider.
In place of the retired piece – which is being “locked away forever” – a new piece will be introduced into circulation. The current contenders, which you can vote for on Monopoly’s Facebook page until February 5, are a robot, diamond ring, helicopter, cat, and guitar.
Many opinions are already zapping around online regarding who should stay and who should go. PETA has requested the Scotty dog be set free, and Wired’s Jonathan H. Liu speculates the cat will win because the vote is taking place on Facebook, a popular forum for sharing feline antics.
We decided to ask 10 of our favorite literary characters what their opinions are on this critical event in boardgame history. Below are their answers: Which current piece they would sack, and their suggestions for a new token.

Alice, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
Current: Thimble – “It was an absurd prize when the Dodo gave it to me, and it remains absurd.”
New: Cat
Lucy Pevensie, The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
Current: Battleship – “Replace it with a real ship!”
New: Lamp-post
Holden Caulfield, The Catcher in the Rye
Current: Top hat
New: Anything not phony
Veruca Salt, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Current: “It doesn’t matter – Daddy will pay for the piece to be unlocked for me later.”
New: Diamond ring
Jay Gatsby, The Great Gatsby
Current: Racecar – “Because it ultimately led to my death, old sport.”
New: Daisy Buchanan
Edna Pontellier, The Awakening
Current: Flatiron
New: Women’s equality – or at least a certificate of divorce
Lennie Small, Of Mice and Men
Current: Curley
New: Rabbit – “Can it be soft?”
The Proles, 1984
Current: Whatever the Party says today
New: Victory Coffee
Tom Sawyer, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
Current: Boot
New: Guitar (any Rush fans out there?)
Marvin the Paranoid Android, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Current: All of them
New: Perhaps a robot; perhaps not. What does it matter?