Seven of Bob’s Best Bookish Burgers
Posted by David Winnick
Everybody loves a good burger. Americans love nothing more than a big hunk of juicy ground beef, sandwiched between two buns (or for those who avoid carbs, wrapped in some iceberg lettuce). On average, Americans consume 50 billion hamburgers annually. McDonald’s sells 75 burgers every single second of the day. To say we have a thing for two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun, is a bit of an understatement.
But there will always be burger wars. Some will fight for Five Guys. The hungry sometimes hanker for The Habit. Californians insist on In N’ Out. But as the true connoisseur knows, the only place for a burger fixed with a dose of literary word play is Bob’s Burgers, where burger maestro Bob Belcher and his family serve up all manner of meaty puns-on-buns. Here are the tastiest!
Season 1, Episode 5: Last of the Mo-Jicama
Looking for some crunch with your patty? Then this is the burger for you. A play on Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper (yes, it was a book before it was a movie), this hamburger is sure to be a crowd pleaser. One wonders: does the titular jicama run in a single strip down the center of the meat to emulate Hawkeye’s signature haircut?
Season 1, Episode 10: The Sound and the Curry Burger
Nothing would complement a reading of William Faulkner’s The Sound and the Fury more than this delightful dining experience. This spicy little number is everything Bob needs to save his foundering business. With the lease for his restaurant on the line, Bob puts a little furious fire in his customers’ bellies for the low price of $5.95.
Season 1, Episode 12: One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Hamburger.
Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach Bob Belcher to fish, he…puts way too much fish in his hamburger. For a show that plays with adult themes more often than not, Bob’s Burgers revolves heavily around Bob’s very strange children Tina, Louise, and Gene; perhaps this burger was Bob’s attempt to bring out the Seussian child in us all.
Season 2, Episode 5: Chorizo Your Own Adventure Burger
This burger is a nod to the classic Choose Your Own Adventure series. A kid could easily while away the hours at Bob’s restaurant eating this burger while concurrently making poor decisions in a choose your own adventure book. And maybe he'll be lucky and find the one path in the book that doesn't end with a fall down a ravine or being eaten by rabid weasels.
(Archer) Season 4, Episode 1: Thomas Elphinstone Hambledurger
Granted, this is not an episode of Bob’s Burgers—BUT. Fans of both Archer and Bob’s Burgers know that the title characters are both voiced by the same actor, H. Jon Benjamin. In this episode of Archer, Sterling Archer has lost his memory and has left his life of spy work to run a burger shop with his new wife Linda and three adopted children. The Burger name comes from the Manning Coles’ spy character Thomas Elphinstone Hambledon. As an added gag, this meal comes with a side of Manning Coleslaw.
Season 3, Episode 16: I Know Why the Cajun Burger Sings
Bob is spicing it up again for this burger. Check out those badass spice holder cuffs he's got wrapped around his biceps! Still, kinda hope he ran this one past Maya Angelou before putting it on the board.
Season 4, Episode 17: The Life of Parsley Burger
Bob tends to give a little bit more kick to his burgers than the traditional garnish of parsley, but maybe he's using it to even out some of those spicy Indian flavorings he put in this one, based on the Yann Martel book about a young Indian boy trapped on a life boat with a tiger.