Innocent Childhood Games That Would Make Excellent Horror Movies
We're sure everybody has had an occurrence that could equate to a horror movie where they, of course, would play the lead. Whether it’s a creepy neighbor who watches you come home from work each night, or the eerily quiet co-worker who constantly peers over their cubicle at you—there’s a little Stephen King in all of us to knock out the next best-selling thriller. However, there’s something scarier lurking in your children’s toy chest—board games that could double as horror movies. Get ready to look at your favorite childhood board games in a different light.
Remember playing this game with your friend down the street and trying to get the wishbone out of the weird looking dude with the comb-over? One false move would set off a loud buzzer scaring the bejeezus out of you. Now, imagine a movie with that weird dude looking right back at you, while you hold the tweezers in your hand that shakes uncontrollably, because in this movie there is no anesthesia! No, in this movie, the man’s reflexes are intact while you operate on him! Instead of a buzzer indicating you screwed up – you get a punch to the face. That takes surgeries to a whole new level.
It was fun to annoy your parents every time the Sorry! card came up. Now imagine a dark and dingy bathroom with Chinese water torture. But instead of the constant drip of water, it’s a toddler constantly screaming Sorry! with every move they make. And toddlers make lots of moves. And now you know what motherhood can sometimes be like—a horror movie. You’re welcome.
CHUTES AND LADDERS
Giggling does not ensue when you wind up sending your opponent down the chute in this horror flick. In fact, you hear bloodcurdling screams as they plummet to their death after repeatedly climbing multiple ladders to get out of the hell-hole of torture they’ve been succumbed to. Every time you spin the wheel another friend is at risk to head down the shoot or climb the ladder to safety. Spin if you dare! No one gets out of this game-turned-horror movie alive! Bwahahaha!!!!
Gumdrops and lollipops and ice cream on a stick. What could be better?! Gumdrops and lollipops and ice cream not laced with poison! This game makes Flowers in the Attic look like a fairytale! Tread carefully down the colorful path and take candy from strangers if you dare…
Marriages. Mortgages. Kids. More kids. College. Illness. The game is a horror film without any creative spins. ‘Nuff said.
We have a funny feeling the folks around the boardroom table didn’t think about how scary their games could actually be!
Jill Effron is a writer of Facebook status updates and blogs. Before that, she spent over ten years working in every genre of television. Outside of the TV world, Effron wrote, directed and produced plays and award-winning short films.