Frankenstein’s Support Group For Misunderstood Monsters, Friday the 13th Edition

Posted by Jadzia Axelrod

Wednesday, 8pm. Unitarian Church basement.

FRANKENSTEIN: Well, it looks like everyone who’s going to show up is here. Might as well get started. Hello, all. My name is Frankenstein, but you can all call me Frank. This coming Friday is the 13th, so if you are feeling particularly misunderstood, don't hesitate to speak up. Would anyone like to begin with something to share? 


BABA YAGA: So, we’re not going to mention the seven foot tall goalie who’s just shown up out of the blue?


FRANKENSTEIN: If Jason wishes to share that’s up to him. He doesn’t have to speak if he doesn’t want to.


BABA YAGA: You two on a first name basis, now?


DRACULA: Isn’t it bad form to date someone from the group?


BABA YAGA: You’re one to talk.


DRACULA: I don’t lead the group. And anyway, I have no idea what you could be speaking of.


BABA YAGA: What about that harpy from Jersey?


FRANKENSTEIN: No name-calling, Baba Yaga.


BABA YAGA: Who’s name-calling? She was a harpy. We all saw her bird legs, those tight skirts she wore.


IMHOTEP: Jealous, much?


BABA YAGA: Of literal chicken legs? Hardly. Though, thinking about her has reminded me of some home repairs I’ve been meaning to do.


DRACULA: Maureen is just a friend.


BABA YAGA: Uh huh.


DRACULA: Vhat? Ve’re just friends. Ve’ll get a late-night brunch and talk gothic architecture. She’s writing a book.


BABA YAGA: Uh huh. When have you ever been “just friends” with a woman?


DRACULA: I’m friends with you.


BABA YAGA: Don’t flatter yourself.


IMHOTEP: If I could bring the conversation back to the matter at hand…




IMHOTEP: …I must say, I am very proud of you, Frank. Having recently come out of the sarcophagus myself, I understand the difficulty of entering the dating scene at such an advanced age.


FRANKENSTEIN: Advanced….?!? I’m not even 200!


BABA YAGA: Are you counting the age of your body parts before they were stiched up to make you, or…?


FRANKENSTEIN: Regardless, I am not currently seeing anyone. And certainly not Jason.


JASON: Would…


BABA YAGA: GAH! It speaks!


JASON: …that…


BABA YAGA: Is no one else disturbed by this?


JASON: …be…


DRACULA: Quiet! I vant to hear this!


JASON: …so bad?


FRANKENSTEIN: Considering your rather conservative stance on…intimacy before marriage, I’m afraid the answer is yes.


JASON: ….that’s…fair.

Jadzia Axelrod

Jadzia Axelrod

Jadzia Axelrod is an author, an illustrator, and a world changer. Throughout her eventful life she has also been a circus performer, a puppeteer, a graphic designer, a sculptor, a costume designer, a podcaster and quite a few other things that she’s lost track of but will no doubt remember when the situation calls for it.She is the writer and producer of “The Voice Of Free Planet X” podcast, were she interviews stranded time-travelers, low-rent superheroes, unrepentant monsters and other such creature of sci-fi and fantasy, as well as the podcasts “Aliens You Will Meet” and “Fables Of The Flying City.” The story started in “Fables Of The Flying City” is concluded in The Battle Of Blood & Ink, a graphic novel published by Tor.She is not domestic, she is a luxury, and in that sense, necessary.