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Source: Elli O

Let’s face it, even the best of us have a dark side. The same goes for some of our most beloved literary heroes (some a little more than others). Whether their antics finally caught up with them, or there was simply nowhere left to run, an alternate universe exists in which these characters were apprehended, locked up, and sentenced for their crimes within literature. At least we can take comfort in knowing they got to request their own last meals before signing off. 


Last Meal of Hermione Granger, Harry Potter Series

Crime: Identity Theft (Technique Unknown)

Last Meal: 

  • Fluxweed
  • Two bundles of knotgrass
  • Handful of lacewing flies
  • Four leeches
  • Horn of bicorn
  • Boomslang skin
  • Piece of guard’s hair


Last Meal of Randle Patrick McMurphy, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest 

Crime: Public Disturbance, Inciting Multiple Riots

Last Meal:

  • One can of Coke
  • Three hard boiled eggs
  • Six and a half slices of bacon
  • Oatmeal with out-of-season fruit
  • Whole roasted chicken
  • Large birthday cake
  • One glass of Irish whiskey
  • Stick of gum


Last Meal of Glenn Rhee, The Walking Dead

Crime: Stalking, Kidnapping

Last Meal:

  • Two slices of pepperoni pizza


Last Meal of Mr. Fox, Fantastic Mr. Fox

Crime: Murder, Theft

Last Meal:

  • Bucket of KFC chicken
  • Duck liver pâté
  • One glass of hard cider


Last Meal of Mark Watney, The Martian

Crime: Conspiracy, Sabotage of NASA Ares 3 Property

Last Meal:

  • Literally anything but potatoes


Last Meal of Jean Baptiste Grenouille, Perfume 

Crime: Murder

Last Meal:

  • Red strawberries
  • Red apple
  • Red raspberries 
  • Red pomegranate
  • Red cherries
  • Yellow plums


Last Meal of Shadow Moon, American Gods

Crime: Fraud, Confidence Schemes

Last Meal:

  • One cheeseburger
  • Basket of french fries
  • One American beer


Last Meal of Dexter Morgan, Dexter Book Series

Crime: Littering, Pollution of Waterways

Last Meal:

  • Black coffee
  • Two eggs
  • Ham
  • Blood oranges
  • One donut with sprinkles

Quirk Tested. Reader Approved.

J. B. Kish's picture

J. B. Kish

J. B. Kish grew up in the American Southwest and spent most of his childhood concocting strange stories with spooky monsters. Now, he lives in the Pacific Northwest and has begun publishing those childhood nightmares for others. He is the author of two novels, including the paranormal thriller A Wall for Teeth and Stingers, which takes place in both Arizona and Oregon. He has the same birthday as Captain Kathryn Janeway, which is a thing he takes very seriously. Probably too seriously.