Worst-Case Wednesday: How to Maneuver on Top of a Moving Train and Get Inside

Posted by Justin Boyer

With the release of the new Bond film Skyfall, I cannot help but nostalgically recall many of the insane physical feats James Bond exhibits in the Bond films.

For example, who hasn’t wanted the chance to maneuver on top of a train and try to get inside one of the cars? Possibly while fighting someone? Of course, it’s easier said than done. I’d probably lose my balance instantaneously, and fall from the speeding train. I’m definitely more of a fit for a Jackass film, rather than a James Bond one. .

Oh well, these exciting instructions from The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook by Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht doesn’t stop me from dreaming of succeeding nonetheless!

How to Maneuver on Top of a Moving Train and Get Inside

1. Do not try to stand up straight (you probably will not be able to anyway):Stay bent slightly forward, leaning into the wind. If the train is moving faster than thirty miles per hours, it will be difficult to maintain your balance and resist the wind, so crawling on all fours may be the best method until you can get down. .

2. If the train is approaching a turn, lie flat; do not try to keep your footing: The car may have guide rails along the edge to direct water. If it does, grab them and hold on. .

3. If the train is approaching a tunnel entrance, lie flat, and quickly: There is actually quite a bit of clearance between the top of the train and top of the tunnel-about three feet-but not nearly enough room to stand. Do not assume that you can walk or crawl to the end of the car to get down and inside before you reach the tunnel-you probably won’t. .

4. Move your body with the rhythm of the train-from side to side and forward: Do not proceed in a straight line. Spread your feet apart about thirty-six inches and wobble side to side as you move forward.