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I was browsing my copy of The Associated Press Stylebook the other day (because, really, how else could one possibly want to spend a lazy afternoon?), and I found myself in the food guidelines. Among the common culinary conversions and the proper spellings of all sorts of ingredients (from angel hair pasta to johnnycakes, to York peppermint patties), I was excited to find that the editors had included a delicious-looking example of the proper recipe-writing style. I started to drool a little, then I made a grocery list.

Tonight’s menu: PIZZA WITH RAINBOW CHARD, GOAT CHEESE AND EGG.

Hey, if it’s AP Style, it must be good for you.

Recently, Pizza Hut announced the revival of their classic program from the 80s and 90s: Book It! A program from October through March, Pizza Hut worked with local schools to encourage children to read, in exchange for personal pizzas and other rewards. Sounds pretty much amazing, right?

And while I’m sure it will carry over for the kids of this generation, I grew curious about what sort of rewards adults would get, the adults who grew up with Book It originally. It got me thinking.

So below, here are some of the pizzas and prizes adults should get for reading adult fiction!

Pizza via Trip Advisor

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen: A classic in every sense of the word. This pizza would be a pepperoni pizza cooked to crispy perfection, to complement Elizabeth Bennett’s spicy, saucy, yet dignified take downs of that stubborn, brooding Mr. Darcy. If you’re looking for a classic with a hidden twist, read Jane Eyre for a chance at cheesy crust; totally in line with hiding something at the top of the house, so to say.

Pizza via My Recipes

Moby Dick by Herman Melville: Once you’ve finished with this whale of a tale, hop on down for a cheese pizza with a topping of anchovies, to remind you of the cunning white whale you just hunted. Just because the book is a soggy, awful look at man’s obsessive nature, doesn’t mean your own pizza can’t be fun! If you read it within a week, you get a free whale blubber lamp as a bonus prize.

Pizza via Sodahead

Any Book Written by Toni Morrison: Toni Morrison is an amazing writer, one of the best in the last one hundred years of literature, and I can guarantee that every one of her books will leave you a sobbing mess. For this pizza, you get every topping you want, smothered in feel-good ranch and hot sauce, the perfect pizza to sit on your couch, wrapped in a blanket, sobbing, trying to process your feelings. If that isn’t enough, throw in a box of dessert cinnamon sticks.

Photo via My Recipes

The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway: Cheese. Sauce. Crust. You want more? Read a different book, kid. Hemingway is a minimalist with an attitude. Hell, you’ll be lucky to even get cheese on that pizza. Y’know what? Screw it, let’s make it a margarita pizza with sauce, bread and basil. That’s all you get. The basil is still a stretch but even Hemingway didn’t hate flavor that much.

Gravity’s Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon: This pizza goes for Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace and Ulysses by James Joyce. If you manage to finish any one of these three books, then guess what? Full pizza buffet. I won’t even stop you from getting thirds or fourths. Because getting through these massive tomes of literary achievement grants you full immunity, and total permission to raid the Pizza Hut buffet. Hell, I’ll find a cold six-pack for you somewhere, because if you finish any of these, and are still conscious, then you deserve it, cowboy.

So get out there and read, friends! Get your kids to read, your nieces and nephews, your students. Because reading is amazing and worthwhile and takes you to other worlds, where you can learn more about yourself and life at the same time.

And when you get back from those worlds, pizza awaits.

What’s not to love about that?