For some of us, Valentine’s Day was a bitter disappointment. There were no hearts or flowers, not even an image of them on the front of a card. If you are not in a relationship, this is still disappointing, and you must make a note to yourself to try harder to make next Valentine’s Day more successful.
But for those in a relationship, especially if it is still relatively new, who didn’t get the slightest acknowledgment on February 14th, maybe it is time to consider if this is a sign of a bigger problem with your relationship.
If you discover this is so, here are some tips for the break-up, taken from The Worst Case Scenario Handbook: Dating and Sex, just so that you can be sure you are handling this difficult task as well as possible. Read on! There's a chance to win a copy too!
1. Get out immediately. The moment you realize you are in – or starting to get into – a relationship that is not working for you, just say “no.”
2. Decide on a mode of communication. Voicemail, e-mail, or a card may be considered cowardly. However, those options have their advantages, particularly for a short-term relationship. If you are ending a long term relationship, consider drafting a letter as a way to begin a conversation. Hand it to your partner to read while you are there.
3. Be kind. Mention the things you like about your partner and express gratitude for the good times you have had together. This may seem contrived, but do it anyway.
4. State your position simply. Be decisive, leaving no room for doubt or negotiations. It is not necessary for the other person to agree with you or to understand your reasons, but try to explain.
5. Do not try to take away the pain. You are doing what is right for you and the other person has the right to a response. It is no longer your job to make the person feel better. Be firm but not cruel.
However, if you are the partner who has forgotten Valentine’s Day due to a genuine oversight, and do not want the above scenario to come about, you may possibly have enough time to rescue your relationship.
After you have followed these steps for forgetting a birthday, also taken from the Worst Case Scenario Handbook: Dating and Sex, it may be a good idea to book an appointment at an opticians or agree to go shopping with your partner more often (which will also prove how sorry you are) to avoid in the future missing the obvious Valentine’s Day advertisements and merchandise, which have been all around since the beginning of January.
When you look at it this way, forgetting Valentine’s Day is actually an even WORSE case scenario than forgetting a birthday. So follow these steps and you may be okay.
1. Apologize, Apologize, Apologize. Your apology might have to take several forms – flowers, verbal protestations, love letters, a special dinner. Be creative.
2. Accept responsibility for your error. Recognize sincerely that you blew it. Excuses will only make things worse.
3. Acknowledge your partners feelings. Accept your partner’s anger is valid and do not question or challenge any reaction. Say, “I can only begin to imagine how you must feel”.
4. Plan a special event to fix the mistake. A weekend getaway, a night at a fancy hotel, or an extremely thoughtful gift will be necessary. However, do not show up two days late with a windfall of gifts, expecting that all will be forgiven. All the presents in the world cannot eliminate the need for talking the matter through.