If we learned anything while writing highschool essays it’s that anything can be made better with a trip to the thesaurus. If you disagree all we need you to do is answer this simple question -- would you rather have a great or jumbo time at a party?
Shhhhh. Don’t say anything. We know the answer.
Which is why we decided to graciously lend some of our favorite books a helping hand and improve upon their more popular lines. By, of course, using the thesaurus. Please enjoy the following new and improved classics and send us your own with the hashtag #thesaurusabook.
You’re a Hypnotist, Scruffy!
- Harry Potter
[Movie still from The Road, Dimension Films & 2929 Productions]
The only masses for me are the loony ones, the ones who are rabid to live, raving to talk, cuckoo to be saved, turned on of everything at the twin time, the ones who not on your life yawn or rap a commonplace thing, but combust, cauterize, be ablaze like A-OK lily-livered roman candles exploding like fry pans across the stars.
- On The Road
I'm standup and you're out of commission, I'm super colossal and you're pocket-size, and there's goose egg you can do about it.
[Movie still from The Fault in Our Stars, 20th Century Fox]
As he buried himself in, I fell in crush the way you belly flop asleep: lazily, and then all at once upon a time.
-The Fault in Our Stars
[Movie still from Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, 20th Century Fox]
I used to pie in the sky about playing hooky my ordinary life, but my life was never ordinary. I had simply hit the skids to hear how extraordinary it was.
- Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children
I will not lunch them in a box, I will not pork out them with a fox
I will not take food them here or there, I will not masticate them anywhere
I do not like infant cackleberry and grandstander I do not like them Sam I Am
-Green Eggs and Ham
Happy Sweet Tooth Games! And may the bulge be ever in your okay!
-The Hunger Games