It's almost Shark Week 2017, aka the week of sharp teeth, fins, and about fifty more rows of sharp teeth, and all the sharks you could possibly hope for. Shark Week isn't only around to terrify and frighten us out of the water for the rest of our lives. It helps to educate and bring awareness to these amazing creatures. We thought we'd take a look at some of the best—and somewhat ridiculous—sharks in pop culture to help us get in the mood.
What list about sharks in pop culture could possibly ever be complete without including and starting with Jaws? None, we say! Just mentioning the word "jaws" in front of some people can have them shaking in their boots. Did you know that Peter Benchley, the guy who wrote the novel that Jaws was based on, ended up regretting writing the novel because it made so many people fear sharks? We feel that, Peter Benchley. This movie instilled the fear of sharks into generations of people.
Son of the King of All Sharks and member of the Suicide Squad, King Shark is definitely not a shark you'd want to go snorkeling with. Apparently as a half-man/half-shark hybrid, he's got muscles for days and can attack you in the water or on land. Stay clear.
Bruce from Frinding Nemo
While Bruce does eventually attack Marlin and Dory, we know he has good intentions so we've included him on the list. He tries his very best to be a vegetarian shark, but it doesn't work out. Just remember...fish are friends, not food. Hmmm. Do we smell blood in the water?
Dr. Evil's Sharks with frikin' laser beams attached to their frikin' heads
Is is too much to ask for frikin' sharks with frikin' laser beams attached to their heads? Honestly, sea bass—even ill-tempered sea bass—just don't have the same je ne sais quoi, if you know what we mean. On the other hand, as much as we respect the creatures of the deep, we have to admit that they scare us, and the idea of adding yet another thing to them that might hurt us makes us want to cower in the corner as far away from the beach as we can.
[Movie still from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Warner Bros]
We're not sure if we can actually complete a list like this without a Harry Potter reference. Viktor Krum's partial shark transfiguration during the Triwizard Tournament, which he completed somehow without taking off Hermione's head, should definitely have a place in your favorite shark list.
[TV still from Shark Tank, Sony Pictures Television]
Shark Tank Sharks
Alright, so these people aren't real sharks. They don't have fins or the ability to breathe underwater. But they do have sharp teeth and the ability to rip you to shreds. Particuarly Kevin O'Leary. That guy is one scary dude.
In case you've somehow missed this phenomenon, Sharknado is a SyFy made-for-TV movie about, you guessed it, a tornado made of man-eating sharks. It's literally a cyclone that hits LA and scoops up sharks out of the ocean and they FLY INTO THE CITY AND ATTACK PEOPLE. This belongs on every list. Ever.
Duh nuh, Duh nuh, GET OUT OF THE WATER! Our post is done.