Happy 100th birthday, Beverly Cleary! Thank you so much for writing the wonderful books that have defined so many people's childhoods: Henry Huggins, The Mouse and the Motorcycle, and, of course, the Ramona Qimby series. In honor of your special day, we would like to imagine what Ramona Quimby would be like at the age of thirty.
Ramona, against all the odds, managed to graduate high school with only a few detentions and one suspension (a senior class prank involving the principal's car in the pool). She moved out to Hollywood after graduation and began her acting career in commercials for coffee.
She was eventually discovered when she pranked a famous director on the set next door by replacing his shampoo with a hair-loss removal liquid. He loved the look and her spirit so much that he made her the star of his TV show. The first thing she did with her new, fat paycheck was buy her parents a new house and a Chevrolet for herself.
She is now a celebrity with multiple beauty lines (her favorite part of the job is naming all the nail polishes--she likes to stick with car realted themes). She also has a popular stationary company with brightly colored owls and mice on motorcycles. She is currently suing a small company that attempted to rip off her purple owl sticky notes.
When she walks the red carpet, she wears the designs of Susan Kushner with Henry Huggins on her arm. The two reconnected when he moved to Los Angeles to work on a major paper. They fell in love at one of her swanky birthday parties and quickly moved in together in her large Hollywood mansion. They are currently engaged and own a thin dog named Ribsy IV. Ramona likes to joke that Henry's dogs have names like English kings—with Roman numerals and all.
Beezus was initially uncomfortable with the relationship, but she made peace with it when she met a nice man in her English literature graduate program. She now works as an English professor at the local university. She runs her classroom with an iron fist, so she doesn't have to deal with behavioral problems. Her sister, Roberta, was in her English 101 class. It was desperately embarrassing for both of them.
Ramona and Henry are not limited to the Hollywood life; Henry was nominated for an award for his investigative journalism and plans on running for local office one day. Ramona is currently lobbying in Washington D.C. to have the lyrics to the National Anthem changed to the ones she invented as a child. She claims they had more flare and pizzazz.
The couple has managed to remain above reproach from the media (other than a few affectionate jabs about Ramona's pranks). The one weird quirk that the media likes to remark on is their insistence on still having a hardcopy newspaper delivered to the front door of the mansion. The only clue as to why the couple maintains an archaic practice is the constant praise for and posting of memes about paperboys on Henry's social media account (there have been a whole lot of Newsies references).
With such successful personal and professional lives, it is unlikely that the pair will face a mid-life crisis. If they insist upon it, it is hoped that they will write a series of children’s books based on their childhoods.