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Comic book superheroes are a strange class of folks. Is there anything more unusual than a flying man wearing his underwear on the outside of his leggings, or a giant green behemoth with the language skills of a toddler, dressed in a pair of purple shorts, smashing everything in his path? The League of Regrettable Superheroes rebuttal: Yes! Even among the cape-and cowl set, you'll find much stranger characters (which is one of the reasons superhero comics are so great). And among LORS elite roster of oddballs, here are a few of the weirdest superheroes ever published--which makes them the oddest of the odd.

 

 

Brother Power the Geek: A tailor’s dummy is struck by lightning and given life in this Frankenstein-inspired tale set in the Summer of Love. What sets Brother Power the Geek apart from his corpse-assembled predecessor, though, are his pacifist leanings and groovy inclinations. “Adopted” by peace-loving hippies at the beginning of his artificial life, Brother Power goes on to launch an unconventional political campaign which sees the fabricated flower child marooned in orbit in an experimental spaceship. And all that happens within two scant issues! Imagine where he would’ve ended up with a 100 issue run…perhaps with his own Sirius satellite radio program.

 

 

Ultra the Multi-Alien: Ace Arn, space pilot of the future, makes the critical mistake we all make at some point in our lives: walking into the four-way crossfire of experimental rayguns wielded by extraterrestrial crimelords. The strange beams divide Ace’s body into four bizarre quadrants, turning him into Ultra the Multi-Alien, a walking Tetris of a being who has the abilities of all four alien races. With one furry green arm, one sleek blue arm, one leg covered in feathers, and another leg that’s little more than crackling energy, Ultra is easily the superhero most in need of an exceptional tailor (maybe the Geek can hook him up).

 

Fantomah, Mystery Woman of the Jungle: Sure, the comics of the 1940s and 1950s were rife with white-skinned, blonde-haired “jungle goddesses,” typically decked out in leopard-print onesies and defending the wilds from the greed of mankind (poachers, mostly). But unlike the other members of her particular sorority, Fantomah was decked out in a black cocktail dress (just because you spend a lot of time in trees doesn’t mean you can’t look stylish). More remarkably, when danger threatened she transformed into a skull-faced, blue-skinned, all-powerful avenger whose form burned with uncanny flame. Raining impossible vengeance on jungle troublemakers, she certainly made Tarzan look like a piker. He could talk to the apes, but Fantomah was just as likely to turn you into an ape…and then feed you to a pit of flesh-eating bananas for good measure.

 

 

AAU Shuperstar: Most superheroes defend great cities and innocent citizens, but who stands up for…our shoes? Well, that’s the purview of AAU Shuperstar, a pun-spouting “shoe”-perhero who graced a small run of memorable full-page ads in a number of comics during the 1970s. Decked out in a tracksuit and armed with a good solid kick, Shupe defended the world from vile footwear-related villains like Missile-Toe and The Dirty Sneaker, to name a few (and there only were a few). Say what you will about the AAU Shuperstar’s inherent silliness, this straight-laced sole was no heel. He put his best foot forward where loafers feared to tread. He was educated at Oxford and…well you get the idea. Something something aglet.

 

 


Jon Morris's picture

Jon Morris

Jon Morris is a cartoonist and graphic designer. Since the late 1990s, he's opearated the blog Gone & Forgotten, an irreverant, in-depth, and occasionally rude look at the most unfortunate stories that comic books have offered. Read more about the above characters, plus dozens more of strangest superheroes ever published, in his new book, The League of Regrettable Superheroes: Half-Baked Heroes from Comic Book History.