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With our aww-some Men with Cats book about to come out, we’ve got cats on the mind. Specifically, photographed cats. And maybe we’re thinking about this too much, because we’ve come up with five fictional cats who we’d love to follow on Instagram. You know you’d heart them too.

Crookshanks

Move aside, Grumpy Cat. A combo of Snoopy’s squished face and Grumpy Cat’s frown, Hermione Granger’s cat is deeply meme-able. Highly intelligent (remember how he helped Sirius Black?), Crookshanks would write scathing comments on all of Mrs. Norris’s posts. They’d probably each get merch, calendars, and appearances. We want to live in a world where this Harry Potter cat battle is a thing.

 

Mrs. Norris

Filch, the caretaker of Hogwarts, is the quintessential man with a cat. Mrs. Norris is his eyes and ears at Hogwarts, and almost all her insta-photos would be accompanied by the caption “I’m watching you.” Even more compelling than her creepy photos would be her online feud with her instagram rival...

 

Salem

This is a no-brainer. The true star of Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Salem would be a total ham for the camera. His pics would be varied, showing both sides of his personality: his goal of world domination and his love of food and squeaky toys. #AdventureCat

 

Buttercup

#SurvivalCat. Buttercup doesn’t get a lot of love, but you have to respect this Hunger Games cat for surviving the general food scarcity of District 12, plus a bombing where the entire district is destroyed. A practical cat, his Instagram would be full of pics of his kills, plus the occasional #hatersgonnahate photo of him lounging around his ghostly mansion.

 

Puss in Boots

We’re not talking about the suave, voiced-by-Antonio-Banderas Puss in Boots from Shrek here (though we’re sure he’d post ten selfies a day.) We’re talking the character from the original fairy tale. Left as the sole inheritance to a penniless miller’s son, Puss in Boots uses a series of fashion choices and white lies to get his owner a supposed defeat of an ogre and a marriage to a princess. In a voice like a club promoter, he’d post #instadaily #motivation tips alongside photos of himself and his owner working out. But if we’re being honest, his real Instagram appeal would be that he wears boots.


Eve Legato's picture

Eve Legato

Eve Legato enjoys gifs, trashy reality TV, literary fangirling, and cheese. Follow her on twitter @evelegato.