James Bond VS. Joe Biden

Posted by Andrew Shaffer

In Quirk Books’ mystery novel Hope Never Dies, Joe Biden dons his trademark aviator shades to investigate the suspicious death of his favorite Amtrak conductor. With help from President Obama, Biden turns Delaware upside-down in his search for justice.

Forget what you think you know about Uncle Joe—this Joe Biden has no time for malarkey. In fact, as he’s hanging on by his fingertips outside of a speeding train, you might be reminded of another famous J.B.: James Bond.

A wild comparison…or is it? Here’s how the real Joe Biden stacks up against James Bond.

 

 

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Code Name

James Bond: 007

Joe Biden: Celtic

 

 

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Base of Operations

James Bond: London

Joe Biden: Wilmington, Delaware

 

 

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Sunglasses

James Bond: Tom Ford Snowdons

Joe Biden: Ray-Ban Aviators

 

 

 

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Wristwatch

James Bond: Omega Seamaster (deluxe model with explosive charge, grappling hook, and laser)

Joe Biden: Omega Seamaster (base model)

 

 

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Favorite Drink

James Bond: A dry martini—shaken, not stirred

Joe Biden: Orange Gatorade

 

 

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Firearm of Choice

James Bond: Walther PPK

Joe Biden: 12-gauge shotgun

 

 

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Favorite Make of Car

James Bond: Aston Martin

Joe Biden: Corvette

 

 

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Vices

James Bond: Cigarettes, alcohol, and gambling

Joe Biden: Chocolate-chip ice cream

 

 

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Portrayed Onscreen By

James Bond: Daniel Craig

Joe Biden: Jason Sudeikis

 

 

 

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Body Count

James Bond: 362*

Joe Biden: 0*

 

*As of 2018.