On April 1st, Quirk brought you Binder, aka Tinder for books. Now we’re bringing you brand new apps inspired by books. If only these apps were real, just like our massive disappointment. Seriously, can someone get on these?
How useful would it be for Jacob and the other peculiar children to have access to an app that marks the locations of wights and hollowghasts? Hollowtracker works like Waze, the traffic app that allows users to mark local cops, roadblocks, and accidents, so others can avoid them. Jacob would be the one doing most of the marking and tracking on the app, while the rest of the gang figures out routes to avoid an ambush.
Simon vs. the Oreos
Simon Spier, the narrator in Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, loves Oreos. It’s an undisputable fact, like how hobbits have to have breakfast, then elevensies, and so on. Thus, Simon vs. the Oreos came to life. This one’s a simple game, like Flappy Bird (R.I.P.) or Bernie Sandwiches. The objective? Get Simon to Blue. But he’ll need Oreos for sustenance along the way.
In Rat Queens, Violet is a badass dwarf who rebels against her family’s traditions. For instance, she shaves her beard because she’s taking a stance, not because she doesn’t like it or is embarrassed. She spends a good deal of time training. Therefore, we think she deserves her own training app. Something that can give her a great workout routine and tutorials on sword techniques. Vi would love having the ability to track her progress and better her performance. We non-dwarf folk could also use this app. Honestly, anyone training with a sword and preparing to kill goblins can use it.
The Cauldron Cake
Think Dysh or Foodie, but with all magical foods. J.K. Rowling has a way of describing food that makes our mouths water. Before the addition of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal (and even afterwards), we’ve all dreamed of that first gulp of Butterbeer or bite of cauldron cake. This app allows the students of Hogwarts to photograph their decadent treats so the rest of us sorry suckers can look at them longingly. Talk about unfair. When’s the next flight to Orlando?
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We hate that none of these are real. Seriously, what a major bummer. But here’s an actual app we hope will hold you over in the meantime.
Hop to it and download Litsy, an app that allows you to share and discover books, post quotes and blurbs, and get recommendations from actual people. It also calculates your litfluence to determine your “bookprint” on the world. Cool, right? At least this one actually exists!