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With the cold weather coming in, there’s nothing better than curling up with a good book. Unless, that is, curling up with a cup of hot chocolate and good book! These character-specific recipes should go match perfectly with your reading of choice.

 

Mr. Darcy

First, warm your mug by swirling it with boiling water. Finely chop 1.5 ounces of the finest dark chocolate you can find and place it in your mug. Add a small pinch of sea salt and 2 teaspoons boiling water to your mug and stir to melt. Heat 10 oz of milk to just below boiling and pour in slowly, stirring the whole time. Top with a scoop of your favorite chocolate ice cream. The first sip may be cold and disdainful, but eventually everything will mellow out to a comforting sip.

 

Jessica Jones

In a small saucepan, heat 8 oz of milk and one package of hot chocolate mix over medium-high heat until it starts to steam. Stir frequently, so you can keep its rage and self-loathing from boiling over. Put 2 shots of black cherry bourbon into your mug, and pour the hot chocolate to follow. Drink alone.

 

Dr. Watson

Place 2 cups sweetened vanilla almond milk, 2 tablespoons cocoa powder, 1 teaspoon chai spice mix (equal parts ground cardamom, allspice, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, which your roommate could probably deduce from the smell alone) a medium size sauce pan. Bring to a rolling boil and stir until spices and cocoa powder have dissolved. Reduce heat and let simmer for 3-5 minutes, while you type up your notes of what happened that day.

 

Loki

Heat up 2 parts whole milk to 1 part heavy cream and 1 part condensed milk, being careful not to boil the milk. Stir in 2 tablespoons black cocoa powder (extra-Dutch processed, with no acidity), 8 oz chopped 70% or higher dark chocolate, 1 cup of sugar, one shot of esspresso, and a quarter teaspoon of salt. Last but certainly not least, stir in a whole tablespoon of cayenne pepper for some extra mischievous bite.

 

Pippi Longstocking

Combine 1/4 cup half & half, 1/2 cup chopped white chocolate and 1 cinnamon stick in a small saucepan. Heat on low, stirring constantly and singing a nonsensical song, until white chocolate is melted. Add 1 cup half & half, 1/2 teaspoon vanilla, 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon and 1/8 teaspoon nutmeg and heat through. Remove cinnamon stick before serving, but don’t forget to lick it clean with obvious relish.

 

Katniss Everdeen

Mix one package of the cheapest hot cocoa you can find with 1 cup Bacardi 151 rum. Light on fire and throw it into the face of your oppressor.


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Jared Axelrod's picture

Jared Axelrod

Jared Axelrod is an author, an illustrator, and a world changer. Throughout her eventful life she has also been a circus performer, a puppeteer, a graphic designer, a sculptor, a costume designer, a podcaster and quite a few other things that she’s lost track of but will no doubt remember when the situation calls for it. She is the writer and producer of “The Voice Of Free Planet X” podcast, were she interviews stranded time-travelers, low-rent superheroes, unrepentant monsters and other such creature of sci-fi and fantasy, as well as the podcasts “Aliens You Will Meet” and “Fables Of The Flying City.” The story started in “Fables Of The Flying City” is concluded in The Battle Of Blood & Ink, a graphic novel published by Tor. She is not domestic, she is a luxury, and in that sense, necessary.