Here are more than one hundred news stories of high-school sweethearts, college hook-ups, dating disasters, weddings, divorces, and restraining orders. From “18-Year-Old Miraculously Finds Soulmate In Hometown” to “Couple Forgets 70th Wedding Anniversary,” these reports capture the heartbreak and hilarity of the human experience.
The Onion is America’s Finest News Source. It is the last bastion of unbiased, reliable, and definitive news in a world dominated by superficiality, mediocrity, and non-Onion news outlets. Since its founding back in 1988, The Onion has expanded into an omnipotent news empire reaching millions of fans through print, broadcast, radio, online, and mobile outlets. Today, The Onion misinforms more than 1.5 million readers in print and 7.5 million online each month.
Food blogger Lindsay Landis has invented the perfect cookie dough. It tastes great. It’s egg free (and thus safe to eat raw). You can whip it up in minutes. And, best of all, you can use it to make dozens of delicious cookie dough creations, from cakes, custards, and pies to candies, brownies, and even granola bars. Included are recipes for indulgent breakfasts (cookie dough doughnuts!), frozen treats (cookie dough Popsicles!), and outrageous snacks (cookie dough eggrolls! cookie dough fudge! cookie dough pizza!).