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  • Beloved books are popular for a reason, but what if those stories had gone just a little bit… differently? Just a few letters can make a world of difference to a story. We’ve taken a whack at pitching a few classic titles that have taken a bit of a turn for the silly, strange, and ridiculous!

    Feel inspired? Share your own pitches for famous novels with a twist @QuirkBooks on twitter with #Pitchatwist!

  • Taylor, Dodge and Landon looked at the vast desert ahead of them. It looked remarkably like the desert they had just spent days trudging through. They’d be out of water soon.

     

    Landon said, "I jus' don't know what this desert's comin' to. There’s bound to be life somewhere."

     
    Dodge said, "I been walkin' aroun' in the same desert, saying the same thing. What we comin' to? Seems to me we don't never come to nothin'. Always on the way. Always goin' and goin'. Why don't folks think about that? They's movement now. People moving. We know why, an' we know how. Movin' 'cause they got to. That's why folks always move. Movin' 'cause they want some pin better'n what they got. An' that's the on'y way they'll ever git it. Wantin' it an' needin' it, they'll go out an' git it.”

  • Wednesday, 8pm. Unitarian Church basement.

     

    FRANKENSTEIN: Does anyone have any issues they would like to bring up?

     

    DRACULA: Ah, yes. I have something. It is…about language.

  • The Roll Not Buttered

    Two rolls were left on a china plate,
    And sorry I could not have eaten both
    And be no glutton, long I gaped
    And looked at one as far as I could
    To where it was buttered by my host;

  • Happy Alien Abduction Day! While we’re not exactly psyched to get pulled away from Earth by strange creatures, we do have some planets we wouldn’t mind seeing. We’ve listed the ones worthy of a tour below.

  • Legend has it that, in the latter half of the 5th Century, St. Patrick drove all of the snakes out of Ireland. We can only imagine such a massive undertaking required the consultation of Patrick’s best friend first.

     

    Patrick: I can't stand these snakes, Liam.

     

    Liam: Ho, now, Patrick. You're just a little cranky because you've been fasting for a couple of weeks.

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