#ThesaurusABook: Replaced Words from Famous Books

If we learned anything while writing highschool essays it’s that anything can be made better with a trip to the thesaurus. If you disagree all we need you to do is answer this simple question -- would you rather have a great or jumbo time at a party?

Shhhhh. Don’t say anything. We know the answer.

Which is why we decided to graciously lend some of our favorite books a helping hand and improve upon their more popular lines. By, of course, using the thesaurus. Please enjoy the following new and improved classics and send us your own with the hashtag #thesaurusabook.

Unluckiest Fictional Characters

Tomorrow marks that dreaded date, Friday the 13th—a day where you may want to call in sick in order to avoid bad luck. But have no fear! Even if you accidentally trip or butt-dial an ex, your luck won’t be as bad as the luck of the characters we list below. Schadenfreude at work!

Frankenstein’s Support Group For Misunderstood Monsters, Friday the 13th Edition

Wednesday, 8pm. Unitarian Church basement.

FRANKENSTEIN: Well, it looks like everyone who’s going to show up is here. Might as well get started. Hello, all. My name is Frankenstein, but you can all call me Frank. This coming Friday is the 13th, so if you are feeling particularly misunderstood, don't hesitate to speak up. Would anyone like to begin with something to share? 

The Hobbit Inspired by Cormac McCarthy

Tales and adventures sprouted up all over the place wherever the wizard went, lies most, told to comfort the already lost. The wizard, his cloak gray as weathered bone, had not gone that way under The Hill for ages and ages. The curse of memory meant that most of them had forgotten what he looked like. He had been away over The Hill and across the water for a long time, a long time indeed. Those who were small once had gone, food for the earth much like what was under the wizard’s feet.

Good Morning! It was the hobbit.

Fictional Characters Who Will Break Your New Year’s Resolutions

We all have those friends, the ones who encourage us to make poor decisions. You know, the ones who tell you to buy that expensive shirt you can’t afford or to go ahead and have one more slice of cake. Or hey—eat the whole dang thing! Who cares about your resolution to eat better?

We’ve compiled a list of the fictional characters you want to avoid if you want to keep your New Year’s resolutions.

How Fictional Characters Spent Their New Year’s Eve

A non-comprehensive roundup of how certain fictional characters spent the final day of the year.

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