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  • (Image via flickr)

    You’re an extremely important figure, and you’ve just committed a crime that will definitely land you in a jail cell. It’s OK! We’ve all been blinded by power, and your high-falutin status is precisely why you think you should get a "get out of jail free" card.

    Unfortunately, not everyone will agree. You’ve got to get out of the country to avoid the punishment you undoubtedly deserve, and quickly. What do you do? Ok, even if you’re a stellar citizen at the moment, everyone should be prepared to leave the country at the drop of a hat. You never know. Maybe you just need to wait until things cool down enough to assume but you’ve got to play it just the right way.

  • (Image via flickr)

    He’s got your Hanson CD; she’s got your ratty, old college sweatshirt. You don’t really want these items back, but you certainly don’t want them to keep your once prized possessions! Even if you have a copy of your ex’s house key, you’ve still got to figure out how to get in there and grab your things without them noticing. We’ve all been on the other side of that locked door, whether a devious ex has slammed it in your face or you’ve simply locked yourself out of your apartment again.

    Jimmying the door frame, gingerly picking at the lock with a stray bobby pin, trying to unscrew the windows that are designed perfectly for keeping people out—these are all signs of someone who has not prepared for this scenario. Really, you should know enough by now to stash a small tool kit in your trunk, and as someone who’s been locked out numerous times and still has neglected to buy a screwdriver, I can tell you that it’s time to get creative about breaking into locked spaces.

    There’s such a small window of opportunity to get your stuff back after a break-up, and since it needs to be done as efficiently as possible, use this guide from The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating and Sex to ease you though safely.

  • Have you ever really entertained the idea that we might not be alone in this universe? Maybe after watching ten straight hours of The X-Files on a Sunday afternoon, or even after picking the nearest tabloid to get your daily dose of world news. You probably panic a little on the inside, but you don’t want to say anything because your peers might think you’re a little bonkers.

    Like one of those slightly crazed alien enthusiasts you see on the Discovery Channel—they seem to have it all figured out, and you can easily be drawn in if you’re not careful. You can’t control the future, but you can prepare yourself. One common prediction is that aliens will want to do experiments on human beings.

    You certainly don’t want to be singled out as an interesting specimen and be beamed up to a UFO, right? The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Travel can give you some practical tips on how to prevent this from happening.

  • Image via Flickr

    Let’s face this fact right now: I sweat, you sweat, we all sweat, and anyone who says otherwise is lying.

    It’s uncomfortable, it’s embarrassing, and unless you’re a workout-aholic, it’s hard to come to terms with this unglamorous aspect of the human body. If you're into competitive sports, good for you! You’re probably already well aware that sweating goes hand in hand with the sports you play. If you’re not particularly athletically-inclined, then you need to understand how to combat an overabundance of sweat so that you can go out and do normal things with normal people. There’s nothing more embarrassing, for example, than accidentally throwing a bowling ball behind you instead of in front of you because your hands were sweating so badly.

    Golf, like bowling, requires a non-sweaty grip to maintain success in the sport. A pair of sweaty palms can lead to an embarrassing sports mishap that leaves you humiliated. Luckily, The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Golf has you covered for all scenarios, from minor moisture control to remedying a torrential onslaught of sweat.

  • Image via Flickr

    Sportsmanship is one of those hit-or-miss traits. Not everyone is blessed with the ability to curb their competitive streaks, and you don’t know who is simmering with bottled-up rage. Golf is a quiet sport that requires a great deal of respectful silence for long periods of time. It’s not for overly emotional people, or for those who tend to lose their tempers. It’s just not a good match. That’s why an enraged golfer is rare in this sport. If you encounter a golfer who has severely lost his cool, you’d better act quickly because you don’t know how long that pot has been boiling. To guide you through this dangerous situation, use the tips provided in The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Guide: Golf.

    Note: These survival tips can also help with miniature golf, especially because no one is a professional and competitors are more likely to make fun of each other for missing the hole ten times. Just saying.

  • You know how kids are big bundles of joy all the time? No?

    Ever want to smack a kid for a smart mouth? Yes?

    Hold on now, I’m not condoning violence, but sometimes certain maddening little back-talkers drive you crazy to the point where such things don’t seem out of the realm of extreme possibility. Ok, let’s move away from those problematic thoughts and think of better, more constructive ways to deal with a difficult child. After all, kids will be kids, as they say, and kids are notorious for finding new ways to step over the line. Adults, take a look at The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Guide: Parenting and use these tips to find new ways to deal with your smart aleck.

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