Greetings from CAMP PLOT-A-WANNA! From our leaves of grass to our softball field of dreams, we provide the ultimate camping experience for the literately oriented. We know that the writing life is a sedentary, solitary, sickly experience, which is why our counselors and staff are trained to gently acquaint our campers with unfamiliar concepts like fresh air, sunlight, weenie roasts, and trees. At CAMP PLOT-A-WANNA, you’ll enjoy the wind in the willows, everyone eats shoots and leaves, and it’s always okay to kill a mockingbird.
CAMP PLOT-A-WANNA includes all the amenities that a vacationing writer could want. Take a walk in the woods, where the hours will feel like one hundred years of sollutude. Escape from the sound and the fury as you contemplate the sheltering sky while consulting a cloud atlas. When the bell tolls for lunch, enjoy a moveable feast of fried green tomatoes, madeleines, big fish, and perhaps a taste of blackberries or a clockwork orange (note: oranges are not the only fruit). End the day sitting around a pale fire, trying to understand why twilight is so popular (note: the sun also rises).
- Horseback Writing
- Arts and Crafts:
- Wallets that are perpetually empty
- Rejection letter cozy
- Pencils refurbished from other pencils angrily snapped in half
- Typewriter ribbon lanyards
- Erasers rendered from the boiled fat of book critics
- Writers’ block whittling
- Writer vs. Editor Tug-of-Wars
- Writing, Revising, Rewriting, "Punching Up," and Redrafting Letters Home
- Bird by Bird Watching
Our most senior camp counselor and head custodian. Interests: epic poetry, archery, sing-alongs, gyros, woodcraft. His eyesight isn’t what it used to be, but he’s still spry and sure can tell some war stories.
Willy “the Quill” Shakespeare
Interests: Drama, improv, history. Campers love him for his bawdy sense of humor and ability to turn any tragedy into a comedy. Don’t miss his sonnet slams in the main lodge every Thursday night!
Interests: Divine retribution, piety, long hikes, stargazing, pasta. A romantic at heart, he has a tendency to get lost in the woods. Just don’t mention his ongoing Dan Brown-related lawsuit.
Interests: Erotic poetry, lyre-playing, rock climbing, sandal-wearing. A favorite of our female campers, she has lots of advice for anyone who’s lovelorn, homesick, or unsure how to address the goddess Aphrodite. We just hope she finds time to finish a whole poem some time soon!
Mura “Saki” Shikibu
Interests: Court intrigue, calligraphy, classic Chinese literature, gazing at the moon. She may not say much, but don’t be surprised if you find yourself written into the next chapter of this counselor's novel, complete with a detailed description of everything you were wearing. She’s a keen observer, which is why she’s so good at leading our birdwatching and mushroom hunting hikes.
Stay tuned next Wednesday to get your daily schedule and map of camp grounds!
*CAMP PLOT-A-WANNA is a weekly 8-part series where Quirk Books staffers reimagine famous authors as pre-teens, stuck together at summer camp. It is also an entirely fictional place. Please don't have your parents drop you off at our offices with sleeping bags.