The Ides of March is here, so we don’t know about you, but we’re watching our backs. In case you’re not in the know, Julius Caesar was famously stabbed to death on the Ides of March (that’s March 15, by the way) by his friend and protégé, Brutus. Since we love you so much and don’t want you to suffer the same fate, we’ve created a literature-based quiz to help you determine if your BFF is about to stab (or is currently stabbing) you in the back.
Take the quiz below and give yourself a point for every “yes” answer.
1. Does your friend keep talking about the large, wooden horse she’s getting you for your birthday?
2. Has your friend hung out with shady politicians lately and/or shouted at you about your political views?
3. Does your friend seem extra cozy with your significant other after you return from traveling?
4. Is your friendly strangely preoccupied with or keep referencing the ninth circle of Hell?
5. Does your friend keep insisting that your significant other is cheating on you and heavily implying that killing your bae is the only way to avenge your slighted honor? (Add an extra point if your career is better than your friend’s.)
6. Is your friend excessively fond of Turkish Delight?
7. Does your friend keep staring at your jewelry and muttering “my precious”?
8. Does she wear a pair of binoculars around her neck and keep scribbling in her notebook?
9. Has she stopped following your Tumblr?
Tally up your points to determine your results!
1-3: Your friend is true blue. Is your best friend’s name “Piglet”? We wouldn’t be surprised if so, since she’s as loyal as they come. Definitely honor the “forever” part of BFF, because she’s a keeper. Why were you even worried?
4-6: Keep an eye on it. Your friend may claim to have your back…only to stab it. This is a touchy situation. We recommend checking out our “further reading” section to get a better idea of whether you should keep her around or kick her to the curb.
7-10: Wear armor and don’t show up on the steps of the Senate. This friend is, well, not your friend. Sorry, hon, but get rid of her NOW. She’s plotting your demise as you read this.
Delete her from your phone, unfriend her, and stop following her on social media. And if you see her on the street, RUN.
• The Iliad by Homer
• Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare
• Le Morte d’Arthur by Sir Thomas Malory
• Inferno by Dante
• Othello by William Shakespeare
• The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis
• Lord of the Rings by J.R.R Tolkien
• Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh
• The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas