Christmas Lists from Our Favorite Fictional Characters

It's almost Christmas! That means it's time to start scrambling to try and figure out what each friend and family member wants to see wrapped under the tree on Christmas morning. With all the craziness of the holidays, though, sometimes it's easy for some of the most important people to fall through the gift-giving cracks—namely, your favorite fictional book characters. To make things easier, they've written their own letters to Santa mapping out what they would like for Christmas. See if you can make some wishes come true this holiday season!

Hullo Santa,

So, the Dursleys have told me repeatedly during my time with them that you would never in a million years get me anything. You seem like a nice bloke, though, so I figure I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt—maybe evading Voldemort before even being able to walk can earn a guy a present or two.

1. Scar cream (because sometimes it’s nice to just be The Boy Who Wants to Get a Pint with His Mates, instead of The Boy Who Lived)
2. If you could finagle something together that could magically (ha, get it?) tell me what flavor of Bertie Bott's Every-Flavor Bean I'm about to eat, that'd be great. I've eaten one too many earwax-flavored beans for my liking.
3. Hedwig could use a new cage. I think she'd like that.
4. A new broomstick for next year's Quidditch matches. My Firebolt is still holding up well, but just in case, it'd be nice to have a little insurance, y'know?

Cheers,

Hey—

Know what'd be great? If so many people weren't such phonies all the time. That's what I want, could you pull that off for me? Probably not; I bet you're just as phony as the rest of 'em. 

Let's get one thing straight: I doubt you exist. I'm just writing this letter to appease Prim. Besides, even if you did exist, I'm sure you'd just give all the good gifts to kids in District 1. But let's just say that you are looking for ideas for presents to bring me; if that's the case, I suppose I could scrounge up a few suggestions.

• Gale and I need new bows. Arrows, too. Nice ones, please. Even though he doesn't deserve one since he refuses to write you a letter.
• A new dress for Prim. I'm sure a dress is already on her own list, so bring her two. Blue is her favorite color.
• We have issues with food spoiling quickly. I'd like something to store the plants Gale and I bring home, to make sure they stay fresh longer.
• I'm not sure if this is within your jurisdiction, but if it is, take everything else on this list with a grain of salt and just focus on this one—end the Hunger Games, preferably before this year's Reaping. It's Prim's first, and I'd like her not to have to experience that stress. Get rid of it, not just for this year, but forever. If you could do this, could make it so no more people will have to see their siblings or children go through that ever again, I'd be grateful. And admit that you exist.

Thanks,

Dearest Mr. Claus,

Although your very existence defies all rules of time and logic, my dear friend and partner Dr. John Watson insists I write you a letter, to "get in the holiday spirit" as it were, because, apparently, I strike him as "a bit of a Grinch."

1. I would very much appreciate a new violin, and perhaps a new tobacco pipe, as well (no need to put that one under the tree, as John would surely confiscate it if he had the chance).
2. A new hat, as my current one is quite tattered, and John has informed me that it makes me look homeless.
3. For the love of all that is holy, please give Lestrade a new police force. Please. Preferably a competent one.
4. If you could also disclose to me how you're able to travel around the world and deliver millions of gifts and pleasantries in a single twelve-hour period, I'd be quite appreciative.

Dear Santa,

I'm sure you've got millions of letters to sift through, so I'll keep mine short and sweet. Below is what I want for Christmas:

1. Daisy Buchanan
2. Daisy Buchanan
3. Daisy Buchanan
4. Daisy Buchanan

Thanks, old sport,