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On August 27, 1955 the very first edition of The Guinness Book of Records was released. Since then it has become a source of awe and curiosity, and certainly a few cringes. We all remember the annual school book fair in middle school that always had at least a few copies circulating with groups of kids huddled around, everyone pointing and talking over each other. You were out of luck if you hadn’t been given enough money to buy a copy because it was always checked out at the library—which got us thinking about some fictional characters and the Guinness Records they’d probably hold.

Kiki from Kiki's Delivery Service 

Kiki holds the record for the fastest mile while hula-hooping on a flying broom. While Stefan Testi currently holds the fastest time to hula hoop a mile (on the ground) Kiki has taken the in-the-sky record. You wouldn’t think it possible considering she had a seriously shaky start learning to fly on a broom in the first place, but she trained really hard and had tons of practice over the years making all those deliveries. Now the bells in the trees are for decoration only as she’s mastered focus and hula hooping.

Rapunzel 

Tired of being known only for her hair, Rapunzel has been growing her nails out and is hoping to soon take the record for Longest Fingernails on a Pair of Hands from Chris “The Dutchess” Walton. 

Hugh Apiston from Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

Upon hearing Gao Bingguo set a record by covering himself in 1.1 million bees, Hugh Apiston swallowed 1.2 million bees—a few came out with a burp—but of course only the peculiar children at Miss Peregrine’s School know of this secret record.

 

Charlie Bucket from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Charlie Bucket, miffed that his record for the most Mentos dropped in Coke simultaneously was beat (Chupa Chups Industrial Mexicana and Perfetti Van Melle set off 4,334 soda explosions) is currently working on creating a new candy that will shoot soda even higher into the air!

 

Art3mis in Ready Player One

Art3mis is currently enjoying sitting on the video game thrown for most highest scores in ‘80s video games. Art3mis beat Robbie Lakeman’s 1,138,600 points in Donkey Kong by—wait for it… only six points.


Jamie Canaves's picture

Jamie Canaves

Jamie Canaves creates for Dinky Cow, tumbles, chirps, writes, and loves everything ‘80s. Her happily-ever-after is living inside a seaside bookstore equally stocked with chocolate—please slide pizza under door.