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Do you want aliens or the government reading your thoughts? No? That's what I figured. Better safe than sorry, pal. The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Paranormal teaches you how to protect what's in your head from an unwanted invasion.

1. Measure your head.

Gather the dimensions of your scalp using a soft tape measure, measuring from the middle of your forehead to the base of your skull.

2. Unroll tinfoil.

Using clean, premium-brand foil that has not been used to wrap food, measure double the length from your forehead to skull, plus four inches. Detach the foil using the serrated edge of the box and fold the foil in half, shiny side facing out. 

3. Mold the hat to your head.

Carefully place the sheet of foil over your head and scrunch it down to follow the shape of your skull, as would a shower cap or helmet. If any exposed scalp remains, attach additional pieces of foil to cover; adhere using clear tape.

4. At each temple, poke a quarter-inch hold on either side of the foil.

5. Create a chin strap.

Unroll an additional three-inch strip of foil and fold it over twice, creating a durable, double-folded chin strap. 

6. Thread the chin strap through the holes and attach with clear tape.

7. Don your hat.

Wear your hat in any place and anytime you wish to screen your thoughts from extraterrestrial-alien, governmental, or other types of surveillance.

Be Aware

Tinfoil hats are based on science: A layer of aluminum protects whatever lies beneath it from radio-frequency electromagnetic radiation.

For maximum protection, wrap foil around not just the head, but the entire face and skull.

 


Christina Schillaci's picture

Christina Schillaci

As the voice behind Quirk's social media channels, Christina hurls words into the Twitterverse daily. She is also referred to as Mother of Bloggers. In addition to tweeting, she enjoys eating breakfast, backpacking, and using the Oxford comma. You can find her @saychristina (where she uses way too many GIFs) or @QuirkBooks.